Conversation script.

These conversations are awkward because nobody wants to be the person taking something away. The goal of a script is not to read it word-for-word — it's to give yourself the first sentence so the next ones come naturally.

"Dad, that thing on the way back from the store — the cyclist — that scared me. Not because of anything you did wrong, but because the city is getting busier and I want us to know how you're feeling about it. Would you sit down for a coffee with someone who does this for a living? It's not a test. They write you a note and we talk about it."

"Mom, the doctor mentioned doing a check-in on driving. We don't have to send anything to the MTO — there's an instructor in the GTA who does private sessions. He just rides with you for an hour and writes us a note. Would you do that with me, just so we know?"

"The bumper is the easy part. What I want to make sure of is that we figure out whether anything has changed for you driving-wise. There's a guy who does a 90-minute ride-along — calm, no test, no MTO. He'd come pick you up and write us both a note. Will you do it?"

"You've been driving longer than anyone else I know. I'd like us to do a thing called a re-assessment, just because the roads are very different than when you started. It's an hour and a half. He's not from the MTO. We'll get a written read on what's still rock-solid and what's worth keeping an eye on."

"I think you're right to be thinking about it. There's a way to get an outside opinion without it being an MTO test — a private instructor, 90 minutes, written report, only goes to us. Want me to book it?"

• ·"Everyone in the family has been talking about this." — feels like an ambush.
• ·"You shouldn't be driving anymore." — closes the conversation before it starts.
• ·"Just for fun." — patronising, and they know.
• ·"It's just like the test you took 50 years ago." — it isn't, and saying so makes them defensive.